(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in
fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she
says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever : Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’
For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid
if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they
know it’s true!!!
TO ALL MY DEAREST FRIENDS
I’M SO GLAD I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS!
The correct way to weigh yourself
I can’t believe I was doing it wrong
all these years.
WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD.
A wealthy Old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa , taking his faithful, elderly dog named Killer, along for the company. One day the old dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old dog thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That old dog nearly had me!” Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old dog sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine! “
Now, the old dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says…
“Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! ”
Moral of this story…
Don’t mess with the old dogs… age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Brilliance only comes with age and experience.
