Two of
the greatest
qualities
in life are:
Patience
and Wisdom
Category: jokes
funny stuff at least to me
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GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH 2!
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> There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
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> 1. He called everyone brother
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> 2. He liked Gospel
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> 3. He didn’t get a fair trial
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> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
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> 1. He went into His Father’s business
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> 2. He lived at home until he was 33
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> 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
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> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
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> 1. He talked with His hands
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> 2. He had wine with His meals
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> 3. He used olive oil
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> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
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> 1. He never cut His hair
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> 2. He walked around barefoot all the time
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> 3. He started a new religion
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> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
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> 1. He was at peace with nature
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> 2. He ate a lot of fish
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> 3. He talked about the Great Spirit
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> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
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>201. He never got married.
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> 2. He was always telling stories.
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> 3. He loved green pastures.
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> But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
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> < br> > 1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food
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> 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it
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> 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
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> Can I get an
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> AMEN!! -
Old Dogs
A wealthy Old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa , taking his faithful, elderly dog named Killer, along for the company. One day the old dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old dog thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That old dog nearly had me!” Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old dog sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine! “
Now, the old dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says…
“Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! ”
Moral of this story…
Don’t mess with the old dogs… age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Brilliance only comes with age and experience.
